Friends, the sayings and quotes from this page were compiled from
a variety of different sources.
Then was our mouth filled with laughter... Psalms 126:2a
A merry heart doeth good like a medicine... Proverbs 17:22a
A merry heart maketh a cheerful countenance... Proverbs 15:13a
To everything there is a season, and a time to every
purpose under the heaven:... and a time to laugh... Ecclesiastes 3:1 & 3:4b
One Sunday morning
during preaching our Pastor came out of the pulpit and stood right in front
of Jake and his six-year-old son, Hunter. Holding his wallet in hand, he
asked Jake, “would you lie for me for a dollar?” Jake answered boldly, “No
sir!”. “Would you lie for me for ten dollars?”, To which Jake replied, “No
sir!”. Jake he asked, "would you lie for me for one
hundred dollars?” Again Jake answered emphatically, “No sir, I would not!”
Then he questioned again, “Jake, would you lie for me for a million
dollars?” To which Hunter spoke up boldly and shouted out, “Daddy, take the
money and let’s run!” The congregation roared with laughter.
you get to your wit's end, you'll find God lives there.
People are funny; they want the front of the bus, the middle of the road,
and the back of the church.
Opportunity may knock once, but temptation bangs on your front door forever.
Quit griping about your church; if it was perfect, you couldn't belong.
If the church wants a better pastor, it only needs to pray for the one it
God Himself does not propose to judge a man until he is dead. So why should
Some minds are like concrete, thoroughly mixed up and permanently set.
Peace starts with a smile.
I don't know why some people change churches; what difference does it make
which one you stay home from?
A lot of church members who are
singing "Standing on the Promises" are just sitting on the premises.
We were called to be witnesses, not lawyers or judges.
Be ye fishers of men. You catch them - He'll clean them.
Coincidence is when God chooses to remain anonymous.
Don't put a question mark where God put a period.
Don't wait for 6 strong men to take you to church.
God doesn't call the qualified, He
qualifies the called.
God grades on the cross, not the curve.
God loves everyone, but probably prefers "fruits of the spirit" over
God promises a safe landing, not a calm passage.
He, who angers you, controls you!
If God is your Copilot - swap seats!
Prayer: Don't give God instructions -- just report for duty!
The task ahead of us is never as great as the Power behind us.
The Will of God will never take you to where the Grace of God will not
We don't change the message, the message changes us.
You can tell how big a person is by what it takes to ... discourage him
The best mathematical equation I have ever seen: 1 cross + 3 nails = 4
You Know You're in a Redneck Church if..
Know You're in a Redneck Church if ...
The finance committee refuses to provide funds for the purchase of a
chandelier because none of the members knows how to play one.
2. You Know You're in a Redneck Church if ...
people ask, when they learn that Jesus fed the 5000, whether the two fish
were bass or catfish, and what bait was used to catch 'em.
3. You Know You're in a Redneck Church if ...
when the pastor says, I'd like to ask Bubba to help take up the offering,"
five guys and two women stand up.
4. You Know You're in a Redneck Church if..
opening day of deer season is recognized as an official church holiday.
5. You Know You're in a Redneck Church if...
a member of the church requests to be buried in his 4-wheel-drive truck
because "It ain't never been in a hole it couldn't get out of" (Love it!)
6. You Know You're in a Redneck Church if ...
the choir is known as the "OK Chorale".
7. You Know You're in a Redneck Church if ..
in a congregation of 500 members, there are only seven last names in the
8. You Know You're in a Redneck Church if ...
people think "rapture" is what you get when you lift something too heavy.
9. You Know You're in a Redneck Church if ...
the baptismal pool is a #2 galvanized "Wheeling" washtub.
10. You Know You're in a Redneck Church if ...
The choir robes were donated by (and embroidered with the logo from) Billy
11. You Know You're in a Redneck Church if ..
The collection plates are really hubcaps from a '56 Chevy.
12. You Know You're in a Redneck Church if ...
Instead of a bell you are called to service by a duck call.
13. You Know You're in a Redneck Church if ...
The minister and his wife drive matching pickup trucks.
14. You Know You're in a Redneck Church if...
"Thou shall not covet" applies to huntin' dogs, too.
15. You know You're in a Redneck Church if ...
The final words of the benediction are, "Y'all come back now, Ya hear".