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Friends, the sayings and quotes from this page were compiled from
a variety of different sources.

Then was our mouth filled with laughter... Psalms 126:2a
A merry heart doeth good like a medicine... Proverbs 17:22a
A merry heart maketh a cheerful countenance... Proverbs 15:13a
To everything there is a season, and a time to every
purpose under the heaven:... and a time to laugh... Ecclesiastes 3:1 & 3:4b


A little girl picked up an item from the ground and started to put it in her mouth. Her mom told her to put it down because it was dirty and had germs. The girl asked, "How do you know this stuff?" The woman answered, "It's on the Mommy Test---you have to know, or they don't let you be a mommy." The girl said, "So if you flunk, you have to be the daddy?"


Retirees: The Whole Truth, Nothing But...
 

Question: When is a retiree's bedtime?
Answer: Three hours after he falls asleep on the couch.

Question: How many retirees to change a light bulb?
Answer: Only one, but it might take all day.

Question: What's the biggest gripe of retirees?
Answer: There is not enough time to get everything done.

Question: Why don't retirees mind being called seniors?
Answer: The term comes with a 10% percent discount.

Question: Among retirees what is considered formal attire?
Answer: Tied shoes.

Question: Why do retirees count pennies?
Answer: They are the only ones who have the time.

Question: What is the common term for someone who enjoys work and
refuses to retire?
Answer: NUTS!

Question: Why are retirees so slow to clean out the basement, attic
or garage?
Answer: They know that as soon as they do, one of their adult kids
will want to store stuff there.

Question: What do retirees call a long lunch?
Answer: Normal.

Question: What is the best way to describe retirement?
Answer: The never ending Coffee Break.

Question: What's the biggest advantage of going back to school as a
retiree?
Answer: If you cut classes, no one calls your parents.

Question: Why does a retiree often say he doesn't miss work, but
misses the people he used to work with?
Answer: He is too polite to tell the whole truth.


One day a little girl was sitting and watching her mother do the dishes at the kitchen sink. She suddenly noticed that her mother had several strands of white hair sticking out in contrast on her brunette head. She looked at her mother and inquisitively asked, "Why are some of your hairs white, Mom?" Her mother replied, "Well, every time that you do something wrong and make me cry or unhappy, one of my hairs turns white." The little girl thought about this revelation for a while and then said, "Mom, how come ALL of grandma's hairs are white?"


The children had all been photographed, and the teacher was trying to persuade them each to buy a copy of the group picture. "Just think how nice it will be to look at it when you are all grown up and say,'There's Jennifer, she's a lawyer,' or 'That's Michael, He's a doctor.' A small voice at the back of the room rang out, "And there's the teacher, She's dead. "


A teacher was giving a lesson on the circulation of the blood. Trying to make the matter clearer, she said, "Now, class, if I stood on my head, the blood, as you know, would run into it, and I would turn red in the face." "Yes," the class said. "Then why is it that while I am standing upright in the ordinary position the blood doesn't run into my feet?" A little fellow shouted, "Cause your feet ain't empty."


 
 
2006, Search The Word Ministry