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Friends, the sayings and quotes from this page were compiled from
a variety of different sources.

Then was our mouth filled with laughter... Psalms 126:2a
A merry heart doeth good like a medicine... Proverbs 17:22a
A merry heart maketh a cheerful countenance... Proverbs 15:13a
To everything there is a season, and a time to every
purpose under the heaven:... and a time to laugh... Ecclesiastes 3:1 & 3:4b

 
 
After the dedication of his baby brother in church,
Jason sobbed all the way home in the back seat of the car.
His father asked him three times what was wrong.
Finally, the boy replied,
"That preacher said he wanted us brought up in a
Christian home, and I wanted to stay with you guys."
A Sunday school teacher asked her children,
as they were on the way to church service,
"And why is it necessary to be quiet in church?"
One bright little girl replied, "Because people are sleeping."
A mother was preparing pancakes for her son s, Kevin, 5 and Ryan 3.
The boys began to argue over who would get the first pancake.
Their mother saw the opportunity for a moral lesson.
"If Jesus were sitting here, He would say,
'Let my brother have the first pancake, I can wait."
Kevin turned to his younger brother and said, "Ryan, you be Jesus!"
A wife invited some people to dinner. At the table, she turned
to their six-year-old daughter and said, "Would you like to say the
blessing?" "I wouldn't know what to say," the girl replied.
"Just say what you hear Mommy say," the wife answered.
The daughter bowed her head and said, "Lord, why on earth did I
invite all these people to dinner?"
"People are like tea bags - you have to put them in hot water
before you know how strong they are."
"How will you spend eternity - Smoking or Nonsmoking?"
"In the dark? Follow the Son."
A minister waited in line to have his car filled with gas just before
a long holiday weekend. The attendant worked quickly,
but there were many cars ahead of him in front of the service station.
Finally, the attendant motioned him toward a vacant pump.
"Reverend," said the young man, "sorry about the delay.
It seems as if everyone waits until the last minute to get ready for a long trip."
The minister chuckled, "I know what you mean. It's the same in my business."
Sunday after church, a Mom asked her very young daughter what
the lesson was about. The daughter answered,
"Don't be scared, you'll get your quilt." Needless to say, the Mom was perplexed.
Later in the day, the pastor stopped by for tea and the Mom asked him what that morning's Sunday school lesson was about.
He said, "Be not afraid, thy comforter is coming."
There was a very gracious lady who was mailing an old family Bible to her brother in another part of the country. "Is there anything breakable in here?" asked the postal clerk. "Only the Ten Commandments." answered the lady.
 
HYMNS FOR ALL THINGS

The Dentist's Hymn:.....................Crown Him with Many Crowns

The Weatherman's Hymn............There Shall Be Showers of Blessings

The Contractor's Hymn:...............The Church's One Foundation

The Tailor's Hymn:....................... Holy, Holy, Holy

The Golfer's Hymn:...................... There's a Green Hill Far Away

The Politician's Hymn:................. Standing on the Promises

The Optometrist's Hymn:..............Open My Eyes That I Might See

The IRS Agent's Hymn:.................I Surrender All

The Gossip's Hymn:......................Pass It On

The Electrician's Hymn:................Send The Light

The Shopper's Hymn:...................Sweet By and By

The Realtor's Hymn:..................... I've Got a Mansion, Just Over the Hilltop

The MassageTherapists Hymn.... He Touched Me

The Doctor's Hymn:..................... The Great Physician

 
AND for those who speed on the highway - a few hymns:

-----45mph....................God Will Take Care of You

-----55mph....................Guide Me, O Thou Great Jehovah

-----65mph....................Nearer My God To Thee

-----75mph....................Nearer Still Nearer

-----85mph...................This World Is Not My Home

-----95mph....................Lord, I'm Coming Home

 
A kindergarten teacher gave her class a "show and tell" assignment.
Each student was instructed to bring in an object to share with the class that represented their religion. The first student got up in front of the class and said,
"My name is Benjamin and I am Jewish and this is a Star of David."
The second student got up in front of the class and said,
"My name is Mary. I'm a Catholic and this is the Crucifix."
The third student got in up front of the class and said,
"My name is Tommy and I am Baptist and this is a casserole."
2006, Search The Word Ministry